42 Best Bartender Sayings

A bartender is a person that creates and serves alcoholic drinks. Known also as a mixologist, there is a rich history in the world of bartenders. Here are some great bartender sayings to inspire you.

“A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.”

“A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender.”

“A theory that you can’t explain to a bartender is probably no damn good.”

“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”

“As an improviser you need to experience the moment- and that includes everything in the moment. Observe the people around you-the bandleader, the bartender-what they wear, how they deal with people, the simple continuity of their presence.”

“Because it is in the nature of things that they become extreme, we have passed down from manliness to cruelty.”

“Both of my parents were born into poor families on the island of Cuba. They came to America because it was the only place where people like them could have a chance.”

“By the time a bartender knows what drink a man will have before he orders, there is little else about him worth knowing.”

“Everyone feels like they would love to be a really cool bartender in a really cool bar, but you’re still surrounded by people who want to destroy themselves with alcohol. When you look at it that way, it’s not that much fun.”

“He had a habit of remarking to bartenders that he didn’t see any sense in mixing whiskey with water since the whiskey was already wet.”

“Hey bartender, hey man, look here. Give us one more, two more, three more glasses of beer.”

“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.”

“I had a bartender friend once tell me about a $14.00 shot of vodka, this was years ago it’s probably more now. I thought that was crazy. From what I understand, vodka has no taste. I think people like the taste of their money.”

“I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated.”

“I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.”

“I was a bartender for a long time, so I know how to make drinks, but I’m more likely to offer them than to have them.”

“I was an amazing bartender and a great waiter. I think, in a way, that was my acting school.”

“I’ve always thought that bartenders and hairstylists would be great interrogators because all day long they have to listen to people talk. They could probably make some fugitive spill the beans.”

“My dad was a bartender. My mom was a cashier, a maid and a stock clerk at K-Mart. They never made it big. They were never rich. And yet they were successful. Because just a few decades removed from hopelessness, they made possible for us all the things that had been impossible for them.”

“My parents were working class folks. My dad was a bartender for most of his life, my mom was a maid and a cashier and a stock clerk at WalMart.”

“Next to the defeated politician, the writer is the most vocal and inventive griper on earth. He sees hardship and unfairness wherever he looks. His agent doesn’t love him (enough).”

“Now I need to take a piece of wood and make it sound like the railroad track, but I also had to make it beautiful and lovable so that a person playing it would think of it in terms of his mistress, a bartender, his wife, a good psychiatrist – whatever.”

“Only one way to cover a story like this, and make that a double, bartender, please.”

“Pain is subtle. He has cold grey fingers. His voice is horse from crying & screaming… When people try to avoid him, he follows them silently & turns upas the bartender, or the bus driver…”

“Placing a wedge of lime in the neck of a Corona bottle helps sell those beers. And where did that ritual come from? One story has it that two bartenders in California were curious how fast a ritual could spread. Astonishingly fast, they discovered.”

“Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.”

“Socially, a journalist ranks somewhere between the madam of a whorehouse and a bartender. but spiritually he ranks with Galileo, for he knows the world is round.”

“The American dream is about achieving happiness. When you become a fire fighter, a police officer or a teacher or a nurse, you know you’re not going to become a billionaire.”

“The greatest accomplishment of a bartender lies in his ability to exactly suit his customer.”

“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.”

“There are few professions whose primary objective is to advance the cause of humanity rather than simply to make money or accrue power.”

“There was a sad fellow over on a bar stool talking to the bartender, who was polishing a glass and listening with that plastic smile people wear when they are trying not to scream.”

“They made it to the middle class, my dad working as a bartender and my mother as a cashier and a maid. I didn’t inherit any money from them. But I inherited something far better – the real opportunity to accomplish my dreams.”

“To extract the fullest flavor of our drinking house, we needed to spend serious evening time there, slowly coming to know the bartender and the regulars, their joys and sorrows.”

“Usability is not everything. If usability engineers designed a nightclub, it would be clean, quiet, brightly lit, with lots of places to sit down, plenty of bartenders, menus written in 18-point sans-serif, and easy-to-find bathrooms.”

“Well, it looks like John Boehner will be the new Speaker of the House. He is the son of a bartender, one of 12 children. He grew up in a two room home with just one bathroom, worked his way through school, became the first person in his family to graduate from college.”

“Will there be any bartenders up there in Heaven, will the pubs never close?”

“Women, you overheated dipsomaniacs, never passing up a chance to wangle a drink, a great boon to bartenders but a bane to us–not to mention our crockery and our woolens!”

“Work is the curse of the drinking classes.”

“You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name — and you’ve never been to that bar before.”

“You know you’re in trouble, when the bartender cries.”

“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.”

Here is a unique look at the world of mixology and the life of an American bartender.