Joe Dirt is a comedy film written by David Spade and Fred Wolf that tells the story of Joe Dirt as he journeys to find the parents that abandoned him times ago. With many humorous points throughout the film, here is a look at some of the most memorable Joe Dirt sayings.
“Actually it got towed away two years ago.”
“And at that moment I thought I might just lie there and never get up. I would just sit there and rot there, but then I looked up and saw the moon and got this weird feeling that Brandi was looking up at that same moon.”
“And you’ll be sticking your head out the window and check out chic dogs saying ‘what’s up, baby?'”
“But I’m picking it up this afternoon. I might need a pretty little lady to sit in the front seat while I break her in. The car I mean. So what do you say.”
“I got the poo on me!”
“If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”
“I’m a rocker through and through. Here’s a list of my favorite bands: AC/DC, Van Halen not Van Hagar, Skynyrd, Def Leppard.”
“Keep on, keepin’ on”
“Life’s a garden, dig it?”
“Luckily, my neck broke my fall.”
“My name is Joe Dirte, I added an e to the end, cause it sounds cool.”
“Now, this ain’t no flapjack, so I’m gonna be real careful, I won’t look.”
“Oh come on man. You got no lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das, or crap flappers?”
“Right on. You’re Joe Meteorite and I’m Joe Dirt.”
“So your gonna’ tell me that you don’t have no black cats, no roman candles, or screaming mimis?”
“That shit’ll buff out.”
“There are three rules when dealing with a deadly crocodile. Rule number one, I’m number one. Rule number two, the croc’s number two.”
“Things are gonna happen for me, I’m Joe Dirt.”
“This croc ain’t no puppy.”
“Well that might be your problem, it’s not what you like, it’s the consumer.”
“When bad pets go bad, dang.”
“You guys got somethin’ to say to me? Why don’t you say it in the microphone. I got a backup mike right here. Check one two, testing, testing.”
“You like to see homos naked? Guy likes to see homos naked, that doesn’t help me.”
“You’re gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don’t have no whistling bungholes, no spleen spliters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker donts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?”
Keith Miller has over 25 years of experience as a CEO and serial entrepreneur. As an entrepreneur, he has founded several multi-million dollar companies. As a writer, Keith's work has been mentioned in CIO Magazine, Workable, BizTech, and The Charlotte Observer. If you have any questions about the content of this blog post, then please send our content editing team a message here.
---