28 Best Homer Simpson Sayings

Homer Simpson is a fictional character and the main protagonist of the Simpsons. With more than 188 different jobs helped in the first 400 episodes of this show, the Simpson’s use a floating timeline. In 2000, Home along with the rest of his family The Simpsons, was awarded a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Here is a look at some of the best Homer Simpson sayings.

Ahhh. I’m just a big toasty cinnamon bun. I never want to leave this bed.

Are you mad, woman? You never know when an old calendar might come in handy. Sure, it’s not 1985 now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring? And these TV guides… so many memories.

Being popular is the most important thing in the world!

For once maybe someone will call me “sir” without adding “You’re making a scene.”

Homer, my face is up here. I already made my choice.

I have misplaced my pants.

I have three kids and no money. Why can’t I have no kids and three money?

I think the saddest day of my life when I realised I could beat my dad at most things, and Bart experienced that at the age of four.

If God needs money, why doesn’t he just write another Bible? The first one sold pretty well.

I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman.

It takes two to lie — one to lie and one to listen.

It’s not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.

Let that be a lesson to you, sweetie. Never love anything.

Marge, don’t discourage the boy! Weasling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.

My beer! You never had a chance to become my urine!

Never help anyone.

No TV and no beer makes Homer something something.

Ooh, lovely desk. It would be a shame if someone… oh, I don’t know, didn’t use a coaster!

Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Reverend Lovejoy, you deliver pizza now? But we didn’t order any pizza, and you forgot the pizza anyway. Marge, the pizza place screwed up again!

The reason we have elected officials is so we don’t have to think all the time.

Well, it’s 1 A.M. Better go home and spend some time with the kids.

What’s the point of going out? We’re just gonna wind up back here anyway.

When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, you know, like that movie… Spaceballs. But instead it was dark and disturbing, like that movie Police Academy.

You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.

You know me, Marge. I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals faaahlaaayming.

You’ll have to speak up, I’m wearing a towel.

Here is a fresh perspective on the roles and jobs Homer Simpson fulfilled during his character’s reign on The Simpson’s. From CEO to Mall Santa, many of Homer’s jobs represent that of America. Here is an economic analysis.

Author Biography
Keith Miller has over 25 years of experience as a CEO and serial entrepreneur. As an entrepreneur, he has founded several multi-million dollar companies. As a writer, Keith's work has been mentioned in CIO Magazine, Workable, BizTech, and The Charlotte Observer. If you have any questions about the content of this blog post, then please send our content editing team a message here.

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